Remember that time your manager prefaced an overly harsh critique by saying it was ‘just some brutal honesty’? I’ve learned to be wary of leaders who are fond of using phrases like these. ‘Ruinous empathy’ is another example.

‘Brutal honesty’ often masks a lack of tact, at best. Worst case, it ends up being more about the brutality than honesty. ‘Ruinous empathy’ is usually an excuse for indifference or it can be used to excuse mistreatment.

Notice how both put the blame on the person at the receiving end of the behavior, justifying the hurt they endure, because it’s for their own good.

The construct of using adjective + noun certainly has its place and can be used to convey nuance such as ‘tough love’, ‘constructive criticism’ or ‘necessary evil’. But when leaders use fancy jargon to disguise unkindness, it’s a red flag.