As someone who’s still learning to navigate conversations effectively, I’m sharing three tips that have helped me improve my communication skills and build better relationships. These tips are connected and build on each other, and I hope you find them useful too.

1. Don’t Expect Consistency In Beliefs

Embrace the inconsistencies in people. A scientist can be a devout Christian attending church every Sunday. A Democrat can be a staunch capitalist supporting small government. When you encounter inconsistencies, try not to let them unduly influence your perception of someone. And please, don’t point it out to them – they’re already aware.

2. Logic and Facts Alone Don’t Change Minds

You cannot use logic and facts alone to reason someone out of a position they did not reason themselves into using logic or facts. No amount of scientific evidence will shake a Christian’s view of the Bible. Arguing about religion, parenting, or politics is often futile.

3. Lead With Curiosity And Make It Your Default

Ask questions that express curiosity and interest. Agitation, anger, frustration, boredom – the most impactful conversations can also be emotional rollercoasters. Don’t let it derail your conversations — get curious and ask a question.

Bonus tip (courtesy of the Dude in ‘The Big Lebowski’):

“You’re not wrong, Walter, you’re just an asshole.”

If you choose to disregard all the above tips, remember that being right doesn’t mean you have to be unkind.